24 May 2009


we live in a world wherein nothing will ever wait for us. time flies as it should because every day should not be taken for granted and when we do, that's when the mistake of waiting piles up. momentum crashes, and you never regain that same composure ever again. one has to understand that patience is not parallel with acquiescence. though the latter may involve having a goal in mind just as well, it is simply accepting that the world exists in a continuum, hoping that a "chance" would somehow arrive.

then again, one cannot always be blamed for being a victim of this so-called "acquiescence." it is not necessarily being passive either. unexpected things can happen along the way, and you do not want to seem like you are forcing the issue, or trying too hard, or going too fast. as a matter of fact, all you wanted to do was tread the water, but somehow the ocean has sucked you in into a new realm that was foreign to you. you knew the ocean was there, but despite its beauty, its brilliance, there is still that fear that you might drown. yet, its magnificence is the very image of liberation, of finally attaining that feeling we call "breathtaking."

however, there are always two sides of the spectrum. there are always two possibilities, but it does not mean that you won't experience the other before ultimately landing on one of them.

but as expected, i have drowned.

nevertheless, at least i felt what it was like to be in the ocean before it happened. forgive me for trying to hang on more than i should have. i knew i was going down. however, i can only give it so much. i bid the ocean farewell, albeit it would never comprehend the power of its tides, and the elation its waves bring. being submerged in it was the one of the most refreshing and daring ideas i've ever committed to.

i knew i was going to drown. but at least i would go down, not in a matter of fighting to stay afloat, but accepting its capabilities, its splendor, that not everyone can hang on, and those who do, are the ones who are meant to stay.

i just didn't want to lose the ocean more than i already have. i wanted to experience it one last time before i let go, not in a matter of being against its pull, but descending into its grace.

the ocean responded to say goodbye. i cannot ask for anything more than that.

nonetheless the ocean flows as it should.