28 November 2008

we stop for certain reasons.

when an individual goes through a hiatus, common reasons for it include: lack of creativity and/or inspiration, being able to kick it back with certain special people, having a much more significant endeavor than what you took a hiatus from, trying to reach a higher goal, ignoring or avoiding things so it's burden would seem non-existent despite the fact that you know it does, or simply taking a break for the sake of taking a break.

but sometimes, reality hits us.

sometimes, pain arrives.

now, wouldn't or shouldn't that be more of a reason to write something? especially coming from a person who regards writing as an escape?

true. however, some things happen that are just altogether too agonizing which leaves your inner being scorched...too overwhelmed to do even those things that you enjoy, those things that you consider as your liberation from anything and everything from the real world.

i lost my beloved grandfather. no words ever can explain the pain from that day. i'm still in denial about it. i told myself i won't write here until i have a piece dedicated to him. and that day will come. but if i'm to write something about one of the greatest inspirations of my life, and the biggest role model i have, had, and will ever have, it should represent a body of work that can justify his honor. when that day comes, i promise on everything i can possibly swear on that the words that shall come out from my mind will materialize to something i can call a work of my dedication in its entirety and nothing less.

but even if i give my best, no words or thoughts can ever come close to how much he meant to me and my family.

your legacy lives on. you will always be remembered. i love you, Ama.