08 April 2008

emotionless.



the older i get the colder my heart grow
i'm surprised i can smile with such sorrow
and inside i keep it bottled
i'm numb to this shit like my pilot is on auto
i'm empty inside, like hollow man
i'm here but i'm not, like a hologram
many a times , you just get caught up in a daze
just wonderin about the decisions in the past that you have made
or whether relationships with peers are going right
cuz you might have a feeling it's not when you're not in sight
whether they even valued the friendship that you gave
because you know you did, proved by all the conversations saved
helping was not a burden because it felt obligatory
if you were to do your best, it was only necessary
but some just take the shit that you did all for granted
makes you say to yourself that you just don't understand it
how can something so great and amazing before
end up in such a motherf.ckin miserable form?
you start askin like "what the hell was they on?"
did i ever slack in the way that i performed?
as a friend? as the one by your side when you felt you're at the end?
things go horrible and then you get to go fix it
but you turnover the ball when you move that pivot
you take a extra step because you thought it'd go better
but the harder it'll fall as you push up the lever
so we're here. acquaintances in each
should i even care if you try to use your speech?
i know i don't matter to you like i did before
and i don't even know if i wanna try that once more
because we've been there, done that,
and here we are, once back
to the situation we never wanted to go to
now i can't even look in your eyes or be vocal
but it's all cool
cuz doing this shit, i was again fooled.
but you lose when you try to get emotional
so the shit that you express, they all become critical.
in their minds, you become the subject of ridicule
and you're value to them becomes minimal
nothing you can do more, though you did your best
so i stand here, just starin, emotionless.


real.




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